Our Equine Marketing Team shares fifteen of our favourite horse jokes and puns you can’t help but laugh (or cringe) at. Whether you are a horse rider or a lifelong horse lover, these horse jokes will raise a smile!
Fast & Furious
Q: Did you hear about the rider whose horse bolted with her?
A: It was a terrible tale of whoa!
Tall Stories
Q: How do you make an appaloosa?
A: Shake the tree
Dressage Queen
If you do dressage with your mare, then it’s time to a-filly-ate!
Straight From The Horses’ Mouth
A guy is walking through the countryside when he spots a sign by the roadside that reads, “Talking Horse for Sale.” Intrigued by what he read, he strolled up to the stable to check it out.
“So, what have you done with your life?” he asks the horse.
“I’ve led a full and fulfilled life,” the horse answers miraculously. “I was born in The Andes, where I herded for an entire village. Years later, I joined the mounted police force in London and helped keep the streets safe. And now, I spend my days giving free rides to underprivileged kids here in the countryside.”
The guy is amazed. He asks the horse’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of such an incredible animal?”
The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”
Unlucky Shoes For Some
- What does it mean when you find a horseshoe?
- Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
Bedtime Smiles
Go to bed, little foal. It’s pasture bedtime!
Pony Power
A pony goes to the Doctor and tells him, “Doctor, I think I’m dying. I have this awful sore throat.”
The Doctor assures him, “It’s okay—you’re just a little horse.”
Speedy Smiles
Running late again? Better hoof it!
Heavyweight Humour
The two best horse thieves in the world were Bonnie and Clydesdale.
Gallop Away With This Horsey Joke
Q: What is the best kind of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!
The Secret to Horse Betting
Q: How do you make a small fortune in the world of horse racing?
A: Start with a large fortune.
Bar Talk
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey.”
The horse says, “Buddy—you read my mind!”
Dough Way!
Q: What kind of bread does a horse eat?
A: Thoroughbred
A Bit Cheesy
Q: Which type of cheese do horses like best?
A: Masc-a-pony
Hoof Humour
Running late again? Better hoof it!
