And how a horsey person feels when you say them (yes, really)…
“WHY DO YOU BLINDFOLD YOUR HORSE IN THE FIELD?”
How we feel: Despairingly amused
Why: This is the question that all horse owners get from non-horsey folk when fly masks are put on, come the spring/summer seasons. We frequently have to wearily explain that, actually, they can see through the mask – well, as long as they don’t roll around in it when the field is muddy. If they do… then yes, they can’t really see. But at least they are protected from flies!
“IT’S EASY, ALL YOU DO IS SIT THERE”
How we feel: VERY angry
Why: OK, well you try making an animal of that size go in the direction and speed you want just by sitting there! What do you mean you will have a go then? Horsey person then proceeds to justify considerable cost of weekly lessons to give weight to this argument as non-horsey person discovers just how difficult riding is.
“HOW COME HE IS SCARED OF A PLASTIC BAG – THE IDIOT”
How we feel: Angry and injured
Why: (comment tends to occur after non-horsey person moves huge bin big whilst you are leading your horse back to stable and your horse rears, spins and disappears off into the distance, leaving you with whiplash and rope burns). Everyone has their own irrational fears; it just so happens that a horse’s is often plastic bags. Judgement and rude comments about this fact from non-horse lovers are not helpful.
“WHY DO I HAVE HORSE HAIR ON MY PANTS?”
(Non-horse partner to horse partner)
How we feel: “Oh no, I should have remembered not to shove Beauty’s saddlecloth and bandages in the same wash as his pants!”
Why: Yep, even though we promise not to, we all lie, and do our horse’s dirty laundry at home, smuggling it in from the boot of the car when you are out at work and quickly drying it over the radiators so you don’t know – apart from the musty smell of horse in the house and, of course, the horse hair on your smalls.
“I’VE HAD ENOUGH, IT’S ME OR THE HORSE”
(Non-horse partner to horse partner in an argument)
How we feel: “Goodbye”
Why: Never come between a horsey person and their horse. This is common knowledge amongst horse people, but non-horsey folk need to take note. Apologies may be accepted via free “rein” of the tack shop with non-horsey person’s credit card.
Photo of Kensington Fly Mask with Ears from Shadow Horse.
For more smiles, read out How To Keep Your Non-Horsey Hubby Happy.